How Do I know If I Have An Anger Issue?
When we think of someone with an anger issue, we often picture loud outbursts—someone slamming doors, yelling, and making life difficult for themselves and others. While this is one-way anger shows up, it’s only part of the story. Anger comes in many forms.
Equally harmful is anger that gets bottled up or "stuffed down." Even when it’s hidden, that anger still affects how we act and think. Eventually, it can build up until it comes out in unhealthy ways. The first step toward freedom is recognizing these toxic patterns and taking responsibility for them.
The good news? You don’t have to face this alone. Walking through recovery with Jesus as your Higher Power helps you admit that you can’t control your anger on your own—and trust that He can guide you toward healing and healthier habits.
The following inventory can help you in the recognition process as you seek to determine whether your anger is reaching a destructive level in your life.
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I become impatient easily when things do not go according to my plans
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I tend to have critical thoughts towards others who don’t agree with my opinions
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When I am displeased with someone I may shut down any communication with them or withdraw entirely
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I get annoyed easily when friends and family do not appear sensitive to my needs
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I feel frustrated when I see someone else having an “easier” time than me
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Whenever I am responsible for planning an important event, I am preoccupied with how I must manage it
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When talking about a controversial topic, the tone of my voice is likely to become louder and more assertive
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I can accept a person who admits his or her mistakes, but I get irritated easily at those who refuse to admit their weaknesses
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I do not easily forget when someone “does me wrong”
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When someone confronts me with a misinformed opinion, I am thinking of my comeback even while they’re speaking
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I find myself becoming aggressive even while playing a game for fun
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I struggle emotionally with the things in life that “aren’t fair”
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Although I realize that it may not be right, I sometimes blame others for my problems
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More often than not I use sarcasm as a way of expressing humor
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I may act kindly toward others on the outside, yet feel bitter and frustrated on the inside
Anger is one of our ten basic, God-given emotions. This emotion can be CONSTRUCTIVE or DESTRUCTIVE – depending upon our response.
Gauging your anger:
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4-8 points: your anger is probably more constant than you would like
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9 or more points: there is a strong possibility that you have struggled with periods of anger or rage, whether you are aware of it or not
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If you struggle with anger issues, the open-share (mixed issues) small group is the best group to help you recover, grow, and overcome anger!
(Adapted from “The Anger Workbook”, written by Dr. Les Carter and Dr. Frank Minirth)
The focus is on giving Jesus just a NANO SECOND—the tiniest moment—to help us manage all of our emotions in line with God’s design for our lives.
Even in that moment, He can help us change how we relate to others and handle our responsibilities.
Breaking old patterns of destructive behavior doesn’t happen overnight. It took years for these habits to form, and real change takes time, too.